Tales From The Darkside Review

Tales From The Darkside Review
By Monstermaster13

---------------------------------------

Nathan:
Hello everyone and welcome to another installment of Monstermaster13 reviews, i’m Monstermaster13 from the time where vampires were actually badass,  now this is going to be a special review because I originally had this movie up in the review schedule for halloween last year but I kind of forgot about it.   How silly of me!

What movie was I planning to review?  Why none other than Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.   For those not in the know,  Tales From The Darkside is a horror anthology series in the vein of Tales From The Crypt.   The show aired in 1984 which was about 5 years before the Tales From The Crypt tv series aired.

In 1990 a movie titled Tales From The Darkside:  The Movie was released.  Because this movie has several segments,  I am going to go over the segments including the opening introduction to them.   The  first two segments are based off short stories btw.

Intro:  The opening is a very dark but intriguing piece starring a witch who is played by Blondie herself Deborah Harry who is about to cook a newly captured human boy,  but before she does - she gets out a book of horror stories and reads from it.   Which leads into the three main stories that make up this movie.

Lot 249:  This segment involves a grad student who is played by none other than Randall Boggs himself Steve Buscemi.   After being cheated and almost having his chances of getting his scholarship ruined by some rather pesky students,  he decides to reanimate a mummy and have the mummy kill those students as a form of revenge.   A very creepy story with a very good twist.  

Cat From Hell:   I’m not going to lie,  if you are a cat-lover or animal person in general - then this segment will more than likely disturb you.   This segment is about an old man who hires a hit-man to track down a particularly malicious black cat.   Unfortunately no one believes the old man when he says the cat is responsible for killing people.   At least not until it’s too late and karma bites him in the behind.   What else is there to say but...it’s probably my second segment out of the three and it’s a good lesson in what karma can do to you.

Lover’s Vow:  Just in time for the Valentine’s season here comes the final segment,  Lover’s Vow.  Which is also my friend Staten’s favorite of the segments.   And for good reason, as this one has a gargoyle in it - not just one,  but three - one’s a woman and the others are kids. This tells the story of an artist who bears witness to a series of murders by a gargoyle,  the gargoyle however spares his life and promises to love him and protect him if he never speaks a single word about the incidents, from then his luck changes thanks to a woman named Carola who he goes out with, marries and has two kids with.    Unfortunately he is still haunted by the traumatic encounter of what happened and tells her about it and shows her a statue of said gargoyle.   And here’s when the twist kicks in -  Carola actually IS that gargoyle.   Heartbroken, she slowly turns into her gargoyle form as she cries “You promised you’d never tell”.   What happens after that, you ask?  It doesn’t end well for the poor artist.   This has to be my favorite segment of all simply because of the way it’s done and of course the gargoyle TF scene.   Also I can relate to this as sometimes I have trouble dealing with traumatic memories especially with trying to let go of said memories.   What also interested me about this is that is based on Japanese folklore, specifically the legend of the Yuki Onna (Japanese for Snow-woman.)   Now,  i’d love to see an episode of Grimm with a Wesen like that.

Epilogue:  This movie’s epilogue has the witch from before getting her just desserts and the boy she was about to cook turns to the camera and quips: “Don’t you just love happy endings?”.  To which I think is a great way to end this movie.

This movie is one of the best horror movies of the 90’s and it still holds up even today.   The fact that there are numerous writers contributing to each of the stories including Night Of The Living Dead’s George A. Romero who also did Creepshow - only makes it that more awesome.   I read that this was originally going to be Creepshow 3 and that the Cat From Hell segment was originally to be in Creepshow 2 but it got scrapped for budget reasons.

I loved everything about this movie,  this to me - is what a good horror movie should be or is one of many examples of that.   It was scary but it had some terrific stories and not to mention the stories were very well written.

I give this movie a 10 out of 10 and give it a two monstrous clawed thumbs up and a high recommendation.   I also heavily recommend checking out the tv series as well if you get the chance,  if you happen to find any episodes on youtube -  watch them,  I heavily suggest you do so if you haven’t.

I’m Monstermaster13 and this has been my review of Tales From The Darkside: The Movie, and now to end with the appropriate ending monologue.   Remember my dear readers,  this very important message.

Remember,  no matter where you are, that the darkside is always there,  waiting for us to enter,  waiting to enter us,  until next time...try to enjoy the daylight.